I fell in love with cinema during a college “Film as Art” class. Our professor’s infectious delight inspired us to find meaning and value in every work we viewed, and he introduced us to incredible movies I might never have discovered on my own. Since then, I’ve slowly morphed into a person who tracks the release and reception of every big film while singing the praises of little indie movies that none of my friends have heard of. The Oscars are one of the highlights of my year, and I’m counting down the days until the release of Denis Villeneuve’s next film.
But I stopped to consider the movies I watched last year, and realized that I’ve lost sight of the joy I used to find in film. Logging everything I watch on a social website has made me feel like I’m always behind, like I should be watching something every day in order to keep up. I watched 265 movies in 2018 and 157 films in 2019, but I didn’t come close to the numbers logged by some people I follow. Living in that world has skewed my perceptions and has turned watching films into a task instead of a pleasure.
As I tried to keep up and to prove my cinephile credentials, I watched far too many mediocre movies. Aspiring film critics feel the need to form an opinion on every new release, and I fell into this trap last year. I watched dozens of films that were easily forgotten as soon as they ended, but kept slogging through because I was measuring my experience by the number of movies I watched in a week. I checked plenty of films off my watchlist, but few left a lasting impact. Even the good films were dulled by the sheer volume of entertainment I was consuming. I didn’t leave myself the time or space to reflect on any of these movies, rushing on immediately to the next film and the next.
I don’t want to spend this year the same way, to feel obligated to fill my evenings with movies just because I’m home and the TV is there. I want to give myself room to enjoy great films again. So I’m resolving to watch fewer movies in 2020. To spend less time comparing my film-watching stats to other people’s. To focus on the films I want to see, whether they are new to me or classics that I’ve seen a dozen times before. To find films that bring me joy, help me understand the world better, or help me glimpse beauty in a new way.
This blog exists to capture the joy I discover, to help me remember the things that move me in the films I watch–and to keep me from returning to every Netflix original that crosses my screen. I’m excited to soak in the beauty of film this year, and maybe even to be changed by what I watch. And if you’ve found your way here, I hope you’ll consider coming with me as I seek to rediscover joy on screen.